Something More

Nandini Kumar (Hanifl Staff)

It was raining. The month was January - the coldest one in Mussoorie. Hanifl Centre was running its first course of the year (WFR) and instructors were putting on moulage, getting ready to deliver a class on ‘head injuries’ through a simulated scenario. The 16 students sat close to each other, bundled up in warm clothes, distracted both by the chilly weather and rain pounding on the windows. Suddenly, the sound stopped, as if someone had pushed the mute button.

“It’s snowing” came a woman's voice from outside and everyone dashed out. The soft white powder was sprinkling from the sky, landing on the old Deodars. It was the first snow of the season and for some, the first of their lives. I remember that day fondly because that was the same day when I met Sajneet.

 Pic: A simulated scenario (Sajneet is sitting on the ground, taking notes) 

 Pic: Sajneet (in red jacket) on Outdoor Leadership Course

It was her second course with Hanifl Centre. The last one she did was the ‘Outdoor Leadership Course’ in November. 

“What made you come back so soon?” I asked out of curiosity. 

“It’s something close to my heart” she replied. I wondered what “it’ meant? The course? Outdoor Education?

We spoke every day for the rest of the course and I learnt that her grandfather had served the Indian Army as a UN observer during the Indo - China conflict of 1962 and her father had retired from the Central Revenue Services.  She had worked as an English language teacher and also in the high-pressure 'Events' industry. Her parents loved her well and had supported her through and through. In many ways, she had it all - marriage, holidays around the world, friends and a doting family. Then came the personal crisis and life as she knew it, turned on its head. And on that note, our first meeting ended. 

It was a couple of months later that I met this woman again and felt something change. A fleeting thought of writing about her crossed my mind.

Sarah Ban Breathnach, in her book ‘Something More’ writes, ‘Human beings as far as I can tell, seem to be divided into two subspecies – the resigned, who live in quiet desperation, and the exhausted, who live in restless agitation. The quiet and resigned believe that our time on this earth is random, a roll of cosmic dice, completely beyond our control. You know these folks when you hear them; their sighs speak volume. The rest of us – the restless agitators – sense that there’s got to be something more.’

Sajneet was looking for something more. Something more substantial, more grounding and more authentic. The word 'transition' used to come up in our conversations a lot. She was looking for who she was deep down. A chance introduction to the mountains by a friend grew into an occasional longing, which developed to a constant need to be comforted by their energy. All of this led to making elaborate plans and eventually, taking the leap. Sajneet moved to Landour, leaving almost everything behind.

“Landour held me safe, helped me grow," she said when I asked her why she decided to come here when she could have gone anywhere.

“It's just breathing in these forests, walking the trails up and down the hills and waking up to the twinkling dawn lights of the mountains and its people. It is all one needs, hai na (isn't it)?” I nodded. This was the reason why I had moved to these mountains as well. And then, as if someone whispered in my ear, "This is the 'it' she was talking about all this while."

The next time I met Sajneet, months had passed since that conversation. She was back from a trek, sunkissed and wearing a totally different attire than I was used to seeing her in. She had changed careers!

Pics: Sajneet on various trips in Uttarakhand and Sikkim Himalayas 

“Why outdoors?” I interrupted when she told me how cold it was at the camp they were in. 

“It's an absolute change and it gives you more time for yourself. I needed both” she smiled, wrinkling her nose, telling me that she was happy with herself. 

The mother in her, missed her teenage daughter when she was out in the field. The finely dressed Amritsar woman in her sometimes peered out and wanted acknowledgement. But the "transformation" which we always talked about, was manifesting itself. There was no looking back. I could see her beaming as she spoke.

I wanted to document all of it now.

So, on a clear spring day, we sat outside Hanifl office to talk about her journey. I had prepared a set of questions which she answered readily. Fortunately, the interview never took shape. While transcribing the conversation, I realised that the beauty of the story was seeping away.  I didn’t want to lose that by adhering to this structure.  I didn’t want it to be a ‘success story’ of a student who landed a great job offer. Which Sajneet did, but there was so much more here than that. 

This was about the fluidity that happy women bring with them in things they do. This was also about how more women in the outdoors create a sense of belongingness for other women to step in. This was about a deep sense of beauty that is the essence of what we do at Hanifl. This was about the mountains that stand tall and flowers that bloom in our gardens.  This was about why we carry heavy backpacks course after course and know that when we say “being in the outdoors can change lives”, we are speaking the truth. Sajneet Sandhu is a beautiful example of all that the great outdoors can do to a person. 

As she happily talked about her new life, I remembered that cold January day when it snowed in Mussoorie for the first time that year. The time spent in the mountains during the course and then on her own had made her aware of the gravity of her decisions, both on-field and back home. Although this transference is not new for people in education and is often expected in the outdoors, it is always breathtaking to see what emerges when the training ends. 

The often-quoted adage of Gestalt psychology goes, 'The whole is greater than the sum of its parts' and fits beautifully when I think of Sajneet. She took the training in leadership, outdoor living skills, wilderness medicine and created a whole new life for herself. As for me, I was humbled by the reminder that the great outdoors is also a great equalizer. This is the main reason why all we ask of our students to bring on a course is a good intention.

Pic: Sajneet Sandhu - Hanifl alumni and Outdoor Enthusiast 

About the author 

Nandini Kumar works as a social media and marketing consultant at Hanifl. She is a wilderness first responder and has done the outdoor leadership course from Hanifl. She also writes independently and has published two books of fiction. She received the Amazon Pen to Publish 2018 award for her second book in 2019.

Get in touch: Nandinikumar@woodstock.ac.in